Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Brownie Pan on TV
You have all seen it. And yes I broke down yesterday and bought one! OOOF. My 4 year old Emery, loves every infomercial on TV. She always says during each commercial "can we get that?" The first thing I thought was I didn’t want all those pesky kids in my house grabbing those brownies. I used to say no, but after a million times of her arguing back "why not!?" I started saying "sure baby" thinking shed forget about it and avoid the fight with my 4 year old (pretty grown up stuff huh). Every time we would go to the store, she would remember like a wise old fox and say "Can we get it today?" That got tiring very quick.. So now we are the proud owners of the "Perfect Brownie". I’m going to store it next to my "slap chop, ove glove, HD glasses, clapper, flow bee and snuggie"
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Date night - my new obit
My son is old enough to watch reed now (1 year old). So after he went down we had our first date night in a while. Mo and I went to see Avatar in 3d. It was so cool. I think that I could watch people sitting on couches in 3d, because the technology is so amazing.
We heard a story that people were upset they couldn’t live on Pandora (which is the fantasy world in avatar). It is so funny. Who are these people? I read the obits every Sunday to see who has passed. I really try to figure out why young people die and such.. I know it sounds morbid.. One of the things that gets me is when they say the person has moved to another place. So, I told Mo that I wanted my obit to say I have gone to Pandora. Which in my mind is in the center of the earth. So when you read about my passing in 50 years, just know that I am in the center of the earth in a place called Pandora! (Yes mo and I laugh our asses off about this)
o yeah, date night was the highlight of my month. I soaked up every second of just being alone and holding hands with my lovely wife. She’s the best.
We heard a story that people were upset they couldn’t live on Pandora (which is the fantasy world in avatar). It is so funny. Who are these people? I read the obits every Sunday to see who has passed. I really try to figure out why young people die and such.. I know it sounds morbid.. One of the things that gets me is when they say the person has moved to another place. So, I told Mo that I wanted my obit to say I have gone to Pandora. Which in my mind is in the center of the earth. So when you read about my passing in 50 years, just know that I am in the center of the earth in a place called Pandora! (Yes mo and I laugh our asses off about this)
o yeah, date night was the highlight of my month. I soaked up every second of just being alone and holding hands with my lovely wife. She’s the best.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
My sons phone contract..
I know it has nothing to do with the diet but loved this thing and wanted to share! Hes getting into girls and facebook.. basically a nightmare on two big giant feet. If you have a teen then you know what stuff like this is!
The Blake Bitter Phone / Computers Contract
As of this 20th day of February, 2010, Blake Bitter will be allowed to use his phone number 480.XXXXXXX and computers as long as he follows the following conditions;
1. Rules of the phone
a. Phone is to be shut off at 8pm, 7 days a week.
b. Phone shall not be used in the house for phone calls when the house phone is available.
c. Phone will not be used during school hours and will not be used to “show off” to friends. If phone is taken away by school staff, phone privileges will be suspended for 1 month (30 days).
d. Phone is to be kept in a safe place while playing sports. If phone is lost or stolen, it must be reported to parents ASAP.
2. Rules of the computers (Itouch included)
a. Computers are to be shut off at 8pm, 7 days a week.
b. Computers shall not be used for fun until all homework for the next day is completed and checked by parents.
c. Parents have the right to check your computers and accounts anytime. Usernames and passwords to me made known to parents at all times.
d. Computers are never allowed at school and are to be kept safe, such as up high on a shelf when not in use.
3. Behavior
a. Must get up when requested by parents.
b. ALL homework must be done by 8pm.
c. All music must be turned off by 9pm 7 days a week, unless parents grant extra time.
d. ALL video games must be shared with siblings.
e. Room must be kept neat on a daily basis.
f. No physical abuse or abusive language may be used against anyone (family, friends, and strangers) this includes all computer accounts and phone. If this rule is broken, all devices will be taken away for one month (30 days).
g. Yards must be raked and swept 4 times per month in order to pay for your portion of the phone.
h. If punishment involves phone privileges being taken away, phone must be immediately given to mom or dad. If thrown, punishment will be doubled.
i. Arguing with family members will result in phone taken away for 1 hour. If arguing continues, phone / computer are lost for the entire day.
j. Trash and recyclables must be taken out daily.
k. Grades must be at an A or B for ALL CLASSES each marking period (exception if an effort is shown throughout the marking period). Failure to do so will result in phone and computer privileges to be taken away for 1 full week (7 days).
l. Any homework missing from classes will result in phone and computer privileges to be taken away for 1 full week (7 days).
m. Must attend all signed up activities (i.e. football and music) unless parents deem him ill.
n. Must complete all assigned chores and duties around house – cleaning, setting table, dishes, and any other designated chores assigned. No arguing!
This contract is subject to changes based on mutual agreement. All punishments are final!
Signed
The Blake Bitter Phone / Computers Contract
As of this 20th day of February, 2010, Blake Bitter will be allowed to use his phone number 480.XXXXXXX and computers as long as he follows the following conditions;
1. Rules of the phone
a. Phone is to be shut off at 8pm, 7 days a week.
b. Phone shall not be used in the house for phone calls when the house phone is available.
c. Phone will not be used during school hours and will not be used to “show off” to friends. If phone is taken away by school staff, phone privileges will be suspended for 1 month (30 days).
d. Phone is to be kept in a safe place while playing sports. If phone is lost or stolen, it must be reported to parents ASAP.
2. Rules of the computers (Itouch included)
a. Computers are to be shut off at 8pm, 7 days a week.
b. Computers shall not be used for fun until all homework for the next day is completed and checked by parents.
c. Parents have the right to check your computers and accounts anytime. Usernames and passwords to me made known to parents at all times.
d. Computers are never allowed at school and are to be kept safe, such as up high on a shelf when not in use.
3. Behavior
a. Must get up when requested by parents.
b. ALL homework must be done by 8pm.
c. All music must be turned off by 9pm 7 days a week, unless parents grant extra time.
d. ALL video games must be shared with siblings.
e. Room must be kept neat on a daily basis.
f. No physical abuse or abusive language may be used against anyone (family, friends, and strangers) this includes all computer accounts and phone. If this rule is broken, all devices will be taken away for one month (30 days).
g. Yards must be raked and swept 4 times per month in order to pay for your portion of the phone.
h. If punishment involves phone privileges being taken away, phone must be immediately given to mom or dad. If thrown, punishment will be doubled.
i. Arguing with family members will result in phone taken away for 1 hour. If arguing continues, phone / computer are lost for the entire day.
j. Trash and recyclables must be taken out daily.
k. Grades must be at an A or B for ALL CLASSES each marking period (exception if an effort is shown throughout the marking period). Failure to do so will result in phone and computer privileges to be taken away for 1 full week (7 days).
l. Any homework missing from classes will result in phone and computer privileges to be taken away for 1 full week (7 days).
m. Must attend all signed up activities (i.e. football and music) unless parents deem him ill.
n. Must complete all assigned chores and duties around house – cleaning, setting table, dishes, and any other designated chores assigned. No arguing!
This contract is subject to changes based on mutual agreement. All punishments are final!
Signed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
